来来往往，重蹈覆辙........真实到底是什么呢？善意的谎言还是恶意的相对？
行尸走肉的我反反复复的在这个深夜反复的想着.......

有人说人生是一场梦，怎么都醒不过来。早知道是这样，如梦一场，我又何必把泪锁在自己的眼眶？

如果人生是一场梦，我真的好想从中苏醒过来。

一根又一根，一根又一根，一根又一根，一根又一根.........................委屈了自己实现别人的梦想。

我能原谅荒唐，荒唐的是我无法遗忘。

就让这场梦做下去吧。

愿........缘......圆.......怨。

句号停留在哪里比较好呢.......

这样的日子还剩下多少，以不重要。

好久沒病了。
發現自己的白頭發多了好多，也不知道平時到底在想什麽。漸漸的再次想起從前。縂覺得自己很脆弱，很難成爲一個可以把你抱在懷裏而又無時無刻給你安全感的人。空空的。
一切就好像發生在沒多久以前，是那麽的清晰。可是在清晰的後面又有一層朦朧而醜陋的布將兩者分開。當我看到清晰時，我仿佛又再一次的被深深的滿足著。可是不知道爲什麽，那一層布縂讓我不舒服，不快樂，不想再去想她。一切變得不美滿，不幸福，不好看。
如何去面對明天總是在我腦海裏打轉。書沒讀好，錢也沒存，每天還是帶著我那些重重的朋友們走著，總是在想什麽時候能讓自己健康的活著。
終于發現，沒有任何的東西可以麻痹自己，留下的永遠是空的，虛的跟難抉擇的。到底過去的生活給了我什麽？功課？教訓？還是萬無一失而又讓我覺得廢棄了的虛幻的影像？
完美的定義到底是什麽？
想了又想，想了又想，想了又想，想了又想，想了又想，想了又想，想了又想，想到了麽？
想再一次的放下。想再一次的拿起來。想再一次的愛下去。
過去是用彌補來定義的麽？
還是過去根本不存在...................

Used to get into fights with people who I don't like or my friends don't like, and used to like it a lot for the excitement.  High school was always kind of fun for me, liked every part of it even though I got into troubles and sometimes a lot of pain. Realized that I am taking responsibilities and nothing else is more important than now and the future.  Things just don't work the way they used to be anymore, and I think after everything that happened, it shaped me into someone who actually think more than do.  Gladly I'm still here typing.  Only God can change others, not people. I think I fully understand it now.  Sometimes the precious thing is so close, can't even run away from it.

Verse 1:
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

Pre-Chorus:
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so

Chorus 1:
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Verse 2:
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And the heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

Chorus 2:
He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Memories,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Memories, may be beautiful and yet
Whats too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So its the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were...

I found that typing my life and my thoughts out is actually an interesting way to uncork my heart.  Time passed by like a piece of super fine fiber set one fire, if they are super fine, then they should last longer, it was fast, it was easy.  I found myself sitting on a chair with my hair long, hands empty and mouth open looking into the sky begging for a heart of forgiveness, a heart of mercy, a heart of peace.   Once  I had a pair of knives full of blood in my hands and still stabbing and slashing onto them continuously until my muscles on my arms are fully used, hoped they wished they never lived.  Living in the acidulous  sourness and bitterness, unbelievably corrupted.  The intoxications of betrayal, lies, plastics and smiles are like the cankerous red wine continuously corroding my heart.  One day, I found myself sitting on my bed, looking over the memories that are soothing my mood, but the only thing I see in my eyes is the distortion of the truth that I think I believed.  Begging for peace, begging for mercy, begging for forgiveness, begging for.........

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感覺無聊的時候從喜歡開Word然後這樣打字.

總覺得有的時候好無聊,可是有很多事情是需要去做的卻癩在電腦桌前,或者床上不肯去做需要做的= =........直到發現碗已經兩三天沒有洗了.垃圾也兩三天沒有倒了,厠所裡面的洗手池跟馬桶也都髒了,地板也不亮了,地毯上面都可以看到爆米花了,沙發上面的衣服褲子都睡了很多天,所有跟木頭有關的東西都起尘了..............才肯開始打掃= =......但是每次都需要兩小時以上去打掃= =.........如果沒天都用5-10分鐘去揀一揀,吃完東西馬上洗碗,用完洗手間順手擦擦洗手池,回家衣服掛好,出門之前垃圾倒一下, 平常吃東西的時候小心一點,掉到地上馬上揀起來,起床以後把床鋪好,回到家的時候心情都會好很多很多.

小时候总觉得长大以后会很好，总觉得大人们比较开心，因为不用上课，不用考试，不用读书，没有人规定他们什么时候睡觉，不用吃不喜欢吃的，没有人会管他们。小时候总觉得长大以后会很开心。

终于长大了，想不到还是要上课，还是要考试，还是要读书，如果不规定自己什么时候睡觉早上起来会很累，如果只吃自己喜欢吃的会对身体不好，如果没有人管自己的话自己会很放纵。反而觉得小时候比较开心，因为不用上班赚钱养自己，什么都不用愁，爸爸妈妈也会做好吃的给我吃，还会带我出去玩，出去旅游，经常买礼物给我让我开心，还有零花钱可以用。

小时候的大人，大时候的小人。呵呵。

永远做不完的梦，可是还是很开心。

快乐男生好看！！

总觉得纯洁，总觉得快乐，总觉得幸福，总觉得.......
从小到大都觉得自己是个好男人，妈妈说我的老婆会是全世界最幸福的女人，因为我是一个好人....妈妈说我的心肠太善良了，做男人要狠点。总觉得我真的可以把最好的幸福给她.....小时候，自己对自己说长大以后要对老婆多好多好，心里面总是想找个人照顾，可能因为怎么都长不大吧。
有时候，多希望成为那一块小起司阿，可以满足别人的需要......对不起我让你吃烫青菜吃到病，对不起我让你担心我担心到睡不着，对不起我让你一直陪我讲电话，对不起我一晚可以完全不在乎你的打给你，对不起我没能让你觉得你很骄傲，对不起我没能带你去海边，对不起我没能让你去迪士尼，对不起我怀疑一个那么爱我的你，对不起我偷偷的看你的邮箱，对不起我没能帮你写完功课，对不起我都让你没有安全感，对不起我都没有好好存钱，对不起我没有好好珍惜你送给我的礼物，对不起我没有把小蓝粘回去，对不起我都没有让你的生活精彩，对不起我没有帮你修好电脑，对不起我没有让你吃上好吃的，对不起我那样子对你，对不起我没有保守我的诺言，对不起我总是犯同样的错误，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪，对不起我让你流泪.................对不起我让你失望了.................................................

小起司阿..........你能再回来么？

从前，有一块小起司，他的主人把他送给了主人最爱的人。有一天，主人最爱的人的邻居需要小起司，主人最爱的人就把一半的小起司卖给了邻居.....主人真的没有生气........

主人最爱的人阿......我知道小起司只有一半了，回不来了..........但是你还会回来么.............

主人说：“我会改变，我会站在上面，我会一心，我会.........................”

妈妈说没关系.........